Like most mornings, I head out for a workout. I walk about ten minutes and end up in a small park near Place de la Bastille in Paris, where there’s a street workout setup. Pull-ups, push-ups, dips, squats. That’s all I need to try to build myself a Cape Fear De Niro kind of body. It must be around 8:30 am, something like that, and I take a moment to check my WhatsApp messages, look over my Calendar meetings, and review my to-do list in Notion.
It goes quickly… there’s nothing.
I’d managed to pack all my meetings into Monday, so I had the rest of the week wide open — there’s nothing worse than a random 30-minute call on a Thursday at 3 pm.
In a wave of inspiration, I’d written a lot for my clients the days before, so I was two weeks ahead with each of them. I’d sent a few prospecting messages, booked two meetings, and had all my weekly content ready.
So now what? Do I relax, or go looking for something to do?
I’m not a startup. I don’t have investors pushing me for bigger and bigger returns. I don’t have any employees, I don’t need to show up just to set an example, that’s actually one of the reasons I chose to go freelance.
But couldn’t I be doing more? Well, clients are happy, the pipeline is healthy, my annual goal is on track… but couldn’t I squeeze in a few more thousand euros? One or two more clients? And do I need to do that now?
The real question is: how much do I still want more?
It’s a conversation I’ve had many times. With my girlfriend, who also works for herself. With my entrepreneur friends. It reminds me of a chat I once had with a client back when I was a corporate banker at HSBC. He told me, “Sometimes I think I should’ve stayed a small business with 15 people. Beyond, that’s when the trouble really starts.” It really stuck with me. Was it a lack of ambition or rare clarity? I don’t really like that word ambition, by the way. I should probably write about that.
I don’t have a clear answer, just a feeling. I’d say, as usual, it’s about balance. On one hand, this desire for more keeps me sharp, competitive. I worry that letting go might backfire. On the other hand, the job’s done. Taking the afternoon off won’t kill my business.
I don’t think this mixed feeling will ever leave me. I’ll probably always want more and that’s what will push me forward. But I do think it’s important to take a step back, be proud of the progress made, and allow myself to breathe a little.
So for this afternoon, we’ll see. For now, I’m writing these lines.
Thomas